Game 1 Ramblings:

I wrote too many openings for opening night, so we’ll go on a choose-your-own-adventure! You remember those from 4th grade, like Goosebumps! So how this will work is that your favorite player will have an opening, you get to read that opening, and then move along to the heart of the piece. Don’t worry about what the other openings say, okay? Just pick your favorite player and go down to that opening. Okay, Quickley people, see heading A!

A: Immanuel Quickly led all scorers in my heart as the Knicks lost the opener to the

Celtics 108-104.

Alright, cool, Quickley people, you can move on to the heart of this article down below the line. Hartenstein people (I know you exist! You are seen here!) see heading B!

B: The Kristaps Porzingis knocked out both Hartenstien’s front teeth and the Knicks’ hopes of starting the season off undefeated as the Celtics outlasted the Knicks 108-104.

Okay, that one would never have actually been the opening to one of these, but I needed to add some of these to make this whole intro work. R-J-BARRET!

C: RJ Barret is a human who plays on the Knicks roster as the Knicks fall to the Celtics 108-104 this Wednesday night in the World’s Most Famous Arena.

That was mean. No, no . . . really it was just unnecessary. RJ played well! He went left! He made some threes! He missed the one three that really mattered! Stop it, sorry, okay (he went left again!). RJ really did play well, and he gives a shit on Defense (more than I can say for E). I loved how he played tonight, but we’ll get into it. Alright, the Jalen Brunson stans! I have a special one for you! Are you ready? Are you . . . ready? Wait, where did they go? Are they still here?

D: Jalen Brunson picked up where he left off this summer, missing shots he usually makes (I blame the international ball for how this summer went) as the Knicks Lost to the Celtics 108-104 in a very entertaining basketball contest.

I mean, Jalen sucked tonight. My irrational fan hot take was that he shouldn’t have been on the floor in crunch time. I will also, later on in this post, argue that he should be a top 20 NBA basketball player. I am irrational, sure, but I am also correct. Alright, a unique opening night opener for the Villanova Knicks Fans! V’s up!

E: Carmelo Anthony watched Donte DiVincenzo and Ryan Arcidiacono score the same number of points against the Celtics as the Knicks lost a Hart-breaker 108-104.

I am being mean. I have to stop being mean. Fine, I’ll go easy on our all-NBA star:

F:

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That game was still fun, right? Tingus Pingus is great (*cough*) at what he does, and the Knicks top Dawgs played about as poorly as they could. Where Randle went, I couldn’t tell you, but I could say that a particular shoot-first point guard had quite a few “dribble it up and don’t pass the ball” possessions tonight. When the head of the snake isn’t making his shots, you love to see Immanuel Quickley hunting for above-the-break threes and nodding as they swish through, backpedaling down the court. Quick. He couldn’t miss. GIVE HIM THE BALL KNICKS! PLEASE! The Celtics are stupid, but they will be impossible to guard in the playoffs if they stay healthy. In that first quarter, I thought the Celtics would go on a rampage throughout the NBA this year on their way to lifting the Larry OB. However, for now, the Knicks have to realize that Quickley dancing on Sam Hauser is a better option than Jalen trying Jrue Holiday or Jaylen Brown (I retract my Jalen Brunson comment in the opening and state merely that I would have liked to see Quickley on the ball in crunch time. I feel like that’s fair).

Randle’s disappearing act was unexpected, especially against this team. Watching the game from the couch, I felt the best option for us was Randle attacking whoever was on him. He’s just such a nightmare to guard; these Celtic’s Centers trying to stay with him can’t, and while Jrue is incredible, he doesn’t have the size that Randle does. Unfortunately for all of us, Jrue would have made quite a living in duels in the West. The one that sticks out in my mind is the side swipe after Randle beat him, the ball crashing into the backboard, and coming out to the three-point line beckoning the Celtics to get out on the break.

Grimes should have been more involved last night. However, generally, as I watch, I wouldn’t say I like it when Grimes gets too involved because it means the ball spends less time in Randle and Brunson’s hands. HOWEVER, I also want the two of them to kick to shooters more often, but last night, when they made the right play and kicked to shooters, the Celtics were everywhere. FUCK.

Donte looked like a puppy.

Josh Hart, shoot the basketball.

RJ fans, let me work through it, but I’m coming around. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m coming around in the opposite direction for Randle, and so my love of this team makes me put some of that love into RJ, but I’m coming around.

Speaking of Julius Randle, why is he walking? Like, I don’t understand this man, he just jogs around? It’s fucking game one.

Tingus Pingus and Pull-up Shoot were, and will remain, the best players to play on the MSG floor until the Knicks play the Bucks on Friday, November 3rd (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOx6xF-yEfc). I don’t entirely believe that, but certainly for Pull Up Shoot I do. The man is a specimen. The man had the catchiest song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c403dZ4jX8) of all time made about him in the EIGHTH GRADE (turns out, after a brief Google session, it was later on in High School. But still.).

I hate losing.

Drew Holiday has incredible hands. What a great man.

Scott Foster-light completely ruined the flow of the game. The flopping call on Brunson was ridiculous.

Pull-up Shoot going up to Brunson before he shot the technical free throw has stuck with me because Donovan Mitchell did that at one point during the regular season last year, and Brunson missed the free throw there, too. It’s just something that I haven’t seen discussed that I think is a critical detail for KNicks fans to pay attention to in this game.

Oh, and also, I write tHIS WITH THE PASSION OF A THOUSAND SUNS AS I SAY: PULL-UP SHOOT DO NOT FUCKING COME NEAR MY POINT GUARD BEFORE HE IS SHOOTING A FREE THROW YOU ASSHAT ASS FUDCK AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKING MAKE THE THREE THROW AJLEN NLFJKDSLFJSDLK.

There are cleverer ways to write what I tried to convey in the Tatum-Brunson exchange. Post calming down, I think my anger stems from the fact that it’s Tatum’s little brothering Brunson, which I hate because, well,

1. We here at Old McDonald’s Basketball Farm have a vested interest in the continued success of Jalen Brunson. And when Pull-up Shoot did that, you would think the guy we all watched last playoffs would show up and make a clutch free throw. I blame the ball; Brunson is too used to the international ball. It’ll take some time for him to get adjusted.

2. Pull Up Shoot has everything you could ever ask for in an NBA body. I am not saying he didn’t grind his absolute behind (barz) off to become the incredible basketball player he is today. You can see it in the moves he makes, the pivots to get to the rim, the fucking shot-making. He’s incredible. But it is just the disrespect shown to Brunson at that moment that makes me absolutely livid. And it worked, so I can’t be mad at him. So instead, I type mean words about him on a little shitty mac with a literary knack and like literally jack (Good Chance. Great Chance.).

3. Bruson didn’t play well. SOUND THE ALARM! THE KNICKS ARE 0-1! FIRE THIBS! Randle didn’t play well. Mitch got in foul trouble, although the Celtics did a fantastic job on him all night. I wonder if there is a counter to what the Celtics did on the defensive boards with Mitch. I guess the Celtics give up some transition points in their quest to keep Mitch off the boards; a higher focus on Defensive rebounding should, at least in my head, lead to a decreased focus in transition. It’s interesting to me if the Celtics are giving up that much in transition; I look at the number and get back to you all.

4. Back to the original point, it’s just that we don’t have a Pull-Up Shoot besides a Brunson who makes all those shots he normally makes. So, and I have only watched it once, maybe I’ll get to see it again, I just feel like it’s a dick move, and it’s a dick move that worked. It’s like Aaron Rodgers calling Travis Kelce Mr. Pizer. It’s clear Rodgers is a dick, but it’s funny, so no one can say anything. Tatum touching Brunson’s chest and talking to him is a dick move, but it worked, and no one can say anything about it.

5. Yes, the “no one can say anything about it” is ironic.

6. Fuck you too.

The Knicks are team-streaky with free throws. Have you ever played against your buddy in pick-up or in a real game where you know you’re better than them (let’s call him Charlie), and Charlie makes a shot, so you come down and not even really thinking about it but in your head say to yourself “I’m better than Charlie I can make a shot” and you shoot, and it just goes in? Something in your core is like, I will not let that guy think he is better than me, so you know this shot is going in. The Knicks are the opposite of this, in the sense that when one of them starts missing free throws, they’re all like, “well _____ ______ missed some free throws, jeesh, I better make mine” and then they miss. It’s a feeble-minded group sometimes. It almost makes me want to just concede that Mitch is going to miss two free throws before he shoots them and give the other team the ball, all so that our team doesn’t see Mitch miss those two free throws.

Scott Foster-adjacent had a lot of fun with those flopping calls. He loved doing that hand motion. All in all, it’s game one. Am I sad? Yes. Will it all be fine? Yes.

OTHER NBA TINGS:

Wemby got stood up by Grant Williams, and then Grant Williams decided to wave at, well, no one in particular (was he shooing a fly away?) as he dropped into help, which made me turn off the game because:

1. I was sleepy

2. Had to write some of these notes down for today

3. I can’t deal with Grant Williams’s antics on the Mavericks. Kyrie and Luka are going to eat that man alive at some point, but it’s too early in the season for them to really care about Grant Williams.

4. I saw what I wanted to see. The block on Kyrie is etched in my mind. Wemby will be incredible, but it’ll take some time and some lessons learned. I love that Pop is giving him freedom on offense, but really, I think he should (and likely is) let Wemby explore on Defense. See what he can get away with and what he can’t, what weird help spots he can help from, what kind of contests he should use for different shots where he is on the floor.

That Monk dunk was awesome.

I’m not really sure what this website is going to be. Kinda figuring it out before I tell anyone what it is so if you’re reading this, Hi!

I watched Lakers Nuggets in its entirety, not that I remember a ton, but I do remember this: I hate watching D’angelo Russell play basketball. Like if he was the point guard for my team, I would lose my mind and stop caring. Some of the decisions that man makes are mind-boggling; he is literally the 5th opinion on the floor. I would rather have anyone else dribble the ball on that team. Unfortunately, he can shoot, so he will be here for longer than I would wish, and great for him.

I don’t really understand the wait until we’re out of the game to put Lebron back in idea out of Darvin Ham; if it’s a minutes thing, I kinda wish we could lose two to three minutes elsewhere and get them back in the 4th.

Also, ranking NBA players is impossible. So, with that in mind, I think we should all just let the lists be. Please don’t complain about the lists, don’t talk about the lists, because, generally, they are all wrong and they are all right. I say they are all right because it’s a bunch of people whose job it is to watch the NBA, and they know better than you or I, and I say they are wrong because, of course, they have some stupid decision, but also like, shut up. We all look at our favorite players or players on our team and are like they are too high or too low, and we don’t watch every game. We don’t fucking know. So everyone just shut up. Please. (Brunson isn’t top 20? On any list? Outside the top 30 on some lists? Dragged his team to a 6th game against the eastern conference finals representative Boston Celtics, that Jalen Brunson? Not even in your top 30?).

Okay. I am unsure whether I’ll have a little college hoops section here. I know it’s impossible to watch every game, but I try to watch the interesting ones. Would love to see Bronny play this year; he seems like a great kid. I hope he’s recovering well.

Alas, the first of hopefully many of these. I’m making an email for any commentary you want to send me. It’s a long season; we’ll figure it out.

Index:

Tingis Pingis = Kristaps Porziņģis

Pull-up Shoot = Jason Tatum

Money Lost Betting on Knicks:

$35

Next Game:

Knicks at Hawks Friday, October 27th at 7:30 pm est.